How to trust again

It’s a never ending journey once you’ve been betrayed…

Learning how to put cement walls down without completely demolishing the building, without tearing down the facade and without dissolving the foundation.

Because when you lose trust you have to start from scratch, you cannot keep placing it within the same old, contaminated and unfixable building…You cannot clear the air when lies and lack of loyalty grow on the walls like mould, as much as you try to clean or scrub the walls it will never come off, the contamination never stops taking over them.

 The building is destined to fall apart on its own and it’s only going to take you down along with it, it will contaminate your heart and your trust will be left handicapped again.

So how do we trust again when this happens?

By giving ourselves the opportunity to understand that even though we’re not perfect, the actions of another person do not define us or our worth. That ill intended people exist and always will be, we have to coexist. But now you know better…

You will identify them as they are, but you’ll only learn to trust again if you build it up yourself. Grow it in fertile soil, watch it grow and heal, water it with patience and do not question yourself.

Do not question why you deserved to be abused, broken into pieces, lied to or betrayed, you never deserved it. You only placed your trust and heart in the wrong hands.

To learn to trust again we need to trust that there is someone out there who will never make you lose that again, it is something you’ll have to find by loving yourself.

As long as we have hope, trust can always be built up again. But don’t forgive the same person continuously, don’t give them countless opportunities, don’t try to live inside a building that has already crumbled down. You have a heart that sees things and people for how they could be…But an old building has to be taken down completely and you should never try to fix something, it isn’t in your control and it is not your duty to do so.

You need to see things for what they are, and this person, this building…Isn’t your problem anymore, you should not try to fix mental conditions, addictions, flaws or issues. You need to take down the building and decide whether you want to continue letting this person make you feel less than them as if they had anything good on them. Or if you want to start brand new and trust that your trust slowly find its way back to you.